It's been awhile....

pfft pfft... tap tap tap... is this thing still on?!

Wow... It's been a hot minute since I last posted a blog update... 2014!!!  Since then my daughter has turned 3, I had another baby, Peyton and he's turning 1 on April 7th... oh and I'm getting a divorce!

Say what?!?  Yup, you heard me right... I'm getting a divorce.  Before you all start freaking out, please know that I've done enough of that since letting my soon to be ex-husband know and that was on the 3rd.

It's no joke when they say that splitting up with a spouse is an emotional roller coaster... throw two young kids in the mix and it's the worst.  Yes I tried working it out and no it's not going to work, I'm unhappy and my kids know it.

Currently I'm working on packing and purging all household items I no longer need, frankly... moving fucking sucks and I don't want to have to pack, unpack and repack.  The kids and I are moving in with my parents because lets face it, my job doesn't pay me enough to live on my own and my credit score is in the low 400's so I'm not buying or renting a house anytime soon.  So yea, the kids and I will be each living out of a room and a storage unit!

My 3 year old is finally starting to realize that something is happening... she got upset when she woke up Sunday morning and every single picture was taken off the walls... Even the soon to be ex was having a hard time.  I'm not about to leave stuff on the walls and continue to pretend to be a family when frankly we haven't been one for months.  I'm going to let my parents basement enjoy all the pictures, at least there I know they will be safe.

Last night was the first night in a while that my thoughts kept me up... oh and maybe the ginormous Diet Coke I downed right before bed didn't help either.  I was up all night silently freaking out.  I wanted to ugly cry but everyone in the house would have heard.  While I know my soon to be ex would never hurt me, I still don't like living there anymore, it's awkward as fuck.

So yea, currently my life is work, going home and packing, and taking care of the kids.  The silver lining out of all of this is I get to have primary custody of the kids... their father will have them every other weekend.

So stay tuned... I'll be documenting my journey from Married: Party of 4 to Divorced: Party of 3!